Lately I've been thinking a lot about change. I remember years ago when I was so afraid of change that I would go out of my way to avoid it – I never took chances, never tried aiming higher, never took opportunities. Of course being older now equals being wiser and learning from past mistakes.
It’s funny how you think that when you reach a certain age that you should have everything sorted. I used to think that I would have a house, awesome career and good money by the time I was 25 but of course this never happened. Sometimes life or other things get in the way and you realise the childish dreams you held will never become your reality.
Over the past few weeks I have really been thinking about why I crave change so much now. It could be boredom or fear of things actually staying the way they are now. I have also grown to accept that sometimes dreams don’t come true and that sometimes you have to just accept things for what they are.
So I may not now (or never) have what I really want, but what we want changes over time. I used to dream about being a top lawyer working in a fun filled office like Ally McBeal but of course this isn’t reality- I have done work experience in law and trust me it is nothing like what you see on tv!
I think what I really want more than anything is to be happy within myself and this is something I am trying to aim for every day. It is a slow process but I know I will get there eventually.